Beyond the Mask: Self-Abandonment, Belonging, and Workplace Safety (with Morgan Hannaleck)

Renae: Welcome, Morgan. We are so glad to have you at the TraumaWise Workplace Summit.

Morgan: Thank you so much for having me.

Renae: I’m really thankful you’re here. I remember when you applied for the summit, I pushed back a little and said, “I need you to tell me more. I really like what you talk about, but I’m not quite seeing the connection to what we’re doing at TraumaWise.” You were so gracious and thoughtful in how you responded. You said, “Let me clarify and show you where this intersects.” I’m really glad you’re here—especially as we do this second Workplace Summit. Sometimes people may look at what you do and say, “How does that fit?” So I’d love for you to start by introducing yourself, and then we’ll talk about how it fits, because I think it’s pretty cool.

Morgan: Absolutely. My name is Morgan. I’m a licensed clinical social worker and a mental health speaker. I share my mental health story and help others who are struggling with their mental health.

Renae: What brought you into that work? What informed your journey into this space?

Morgan: I think I was always meant to end up in a space like this. My way of getting here involved a lot of challenges with my own mental health. I’m from a really small town in Massachusetts where there aren’t a lot of mental health services. During adolescence, I really struggled—particularly with an eating disorder. When I went to get treatment, the closest treatment center was two hours away. I realized there were huge gaps in mental health care where I was from. And when I came back, no one really wanted to talk about it. That experience opened my eyes to the lack of care and the lack of conversation, even though it needed to be talked about. That led me to college. I originally started with exercise science and then slowly moved into psychology. Then I got my master’s in social work, and here I am.

Renae: When you’re helping people understand how to access mental health support—especially from a rural standpoint or places where services seem limited—what’s one of the first things you share about steps they can take?

Morgan: Especially after COVID, we have much more virtual access. That can make a huge difference. Even if there isn’t something close to you, if virtual care is appropriate for what you’re going through, that’s a good place to start. Look for therapists who offer virtual sessions, online support groups, and nonprofit resources. There are organizations that offer free support groups—like NAMI and Mental Health America. So exploring nonprofits and online resources is often a great first step.

Renae: Let’s unpack a bit more. Tell us about your business—what do you call it?

Morgan: I call my business Beyond Your Mask. When I was struggling with my mental health, I put on different masks. Some were more socially acceptable than others, but they were all ways of avoiding myself—avoiding what I didn’t want to face. I think everyone wears masks—socially, with friends, with family, even with themselves. I wanted to build a business that’s about finding safe places to take off the mask and be your most authentic self.

Renae: What do you mean by “most authentic self”?

Morgan: I believe that at the core of who we are is our true self. Experiences—especially trauma—can really impact the way we connect with ourselves. That disconnection can create masks. Those masks are adaptations to survive and feel safe. When we’re grounded in who we are, we can recognize there are threats in the world, but we don’t have to fight for belonging. We know the people who belong in our lives will accept us as we are.

Renae: Thank you. That connects so directly to TraumaWise workplaces—creating environments, practices, policies, and procedures where people can show up as their full, authentic selves. Felt-safety, connection, and co-regulation are the three pillars of TraumaWise care. When we don’t have safety, connection, and co-regulation—those containers that make it sustainable to show up with our energy, humor, playfulness, vision, and questions—we develop masks, because we don’t have a place to belong. When people develop environments and organizations that aren’t safe, what are markers that help you know the difference between what’s safe and what’s not?

Morgan: A lot of the time, we know what’s safe by how we feel in our bodies. Our bodies are smarter than we give them credit for. When someone has experienced trauma, there’s often a disconnect from the body—and that’s usually when the mask comes on. That disconnect can also make it harder to recognize unsafe spaces. The more we connect with ourselves and take off the mask, the more we can actually see and feel when an environment isn’t good for us.

Renae: If we recognize an environment doesn’t feel safe or aligned—what’s the first step someone can take?

Morgan: First, recognize the discomfort and explore it. The messages our bodies send can be listened to. Exploring discomfort can help you distinguish between: “Is this something connected to my past that I need to work with internally?” or “Is this an environment that’s exacerbating what I’m feeling, and changing the environment would help?”

Renae: So from an employee standpoint, there’s a range between staying and leaving. If staying, we’re asking: “Are there internal changes I can make?” and “Are there changes in the environment that can happen?” And then there’s the possibility of: “I can’t be here anymore.”

Morgan: Exactly.

Renae: If an employer says, “I can’t keep a workforce. People come in, they seem great, and then the wheels fall off,” what might be going on?

Morgan: There may be a gap in communication. If the common denominator is people leaving and there’s no conversation about it, it’s worth getting curious. When people feel supported, seen, and safe, they typically don’t leave. So open communication—understanding what employees are experiencing—can help fill in those gaps.

Renae: If an employer says, “I keep noticing this pattern, and it makes me not want to come to work,” what conversation would you start?

Morgan: I’d ask what’s being communicated early on. When hiring or onboarding, are you asking what success looks like for the employee? What comfort looks like for them? What kind of environment helps them thrive? One size doesn’t fit all. A leader taking time to understand what helps an employee thrive is a good starting point for retention.

Renae: I love that you said “comfort.” I’m thinking about the interview processes I’ve been in—no one has asked me about comfort. Often leaders set up the environment for their own comfort, but not for the organization’s comfort or other people’s comfort.

Morgan: Yes. And that question shows you care. Any employee-employer relationship is collaborative. It shows you value that person as a person first and want them to succeed.

Renae: If an employee says, “I shut down. I don’t like who I am here. I’m exhausted holding it together, and when I get to a safe place, everything unloads,” what first step would you invite them into?

Morgan: I’d ask: What makes an environment feel safe for you? Something at work is triggering a sense of unsafety. What’s the recipe for a safe container for you? And why does it feel like what you’re carrying can’t be released at work?

Renae: You do a lot of mindset work and tools. Broadly speaking, what are areas you work on with people who experience shutdown or masking?

Morgan: Values work. Everyone has values, but not everyone knows what their values are—or whether they’re living in alignment with them. When people wear masks, they’re often not living aligned with their values. That awareness can be eye-opening. For example, if you value connection but shut down around others, you’re not living aligned with that value. Knowing that helps you take steps toward safer ways of living your values.

Renae: And with relational disruptions—betrayals—people aren’t choosing not to live their values. Trauma can override cognition. There’s a rush to safety. Can you speak to that?

Morgan: Humans are hardwired to belong. If you think back to “cave days,” if no one cared about you, you were more likely to die. Belonging is a biological need. When we don’t have belonging, we adapt. After relational trauma, the mask is an adaptation to find safety and belonging. Often the narrative becomes: “Who I am isn’t safe. It’s not safe to be me.” So people learn—through observation—what gets approval, validation, and acceptance, and they shape themselves around that.

Renae: When did you realize you had a mask getting in the way of being who you were meant to be?

Morgan: It happened in doses. The first time I started noticing it was in eating disorder treatment. An eating disorder can take up so much of your life—there’s no space for anything else. Your thoughts and actions revolve around food, exercise, body image, and staying safe. When I was in treatment and eating regularly, it opened my eyes. I could see how the disorder wasn’t serving me and how it wasn’t who I was.

Renae: What was another “aha” moment?

Morgan: A past relationship. There wasn’t space for me to be my full self, and I wasn’t standing up for myself. I realized I’m passionate about people having space to be who they are and be valued for who they are. The cost of that relationship was losing myself. That was a big moment where I realized: I deserve more. I value this for other people, so I need to value it for myself.

Renae: If you could go back and tell your younger self something—what would it be?

Morgan: If I have to abandon myself for it, it’s not meant for me. I developed a belief that to have good things—support, love—you had to leave parts of yourself behind. But healing taught me that what’s truly meant for you doesn’t require self-abandonment. You can show up exactly as you are.

Renae: How does a person get to know their authentic self?

Morgan: It happens in pieces. It starts with safe places to take the mask off, and self-discovery through exploration. We don’t know what we like until we try things. If something sparks you—dance, art, anything—try it. Reconnect with what you loved as a kid. Try small experiments. And experiences that don’t work out can provide valuable feedback about what you don’t want. That’s not failure—that’s information.

Renae: What are other “growth points” in your story that show up in hindsight?

Morgan: Moving to California. It started with listening to my intuition. I was trained to ignore my intuition and pay attention to what everyone else wanted. I was leading a group at an eating disorder center and asked the question: “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” At the end, a patient asked me what I would do. Without thinking, I said, “I’d move to California.” It felt random, unrealistic. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. One day I opened maps and asked: “If I could go anywhere, and it didn’t matter what anyone thought, where would I go?” San Diego caught my eye. I bought a one-way ticket without visiting first. Looking back, it was a bold decision, but it was also beautiful. I trusted what I felt, even when it didn’t make sense, and it taught me to trust myself.

Renae: You said you were trained not to trust your intuition. How do we recognize that in ourselves?

Morgan: I see it in the difference between anxiety and intuition. Anxiety feels like an alarm—nagging, fearful, worst-case scenario. Intuition feels like a calm knowing. Those feel very different in the body. The more someone is dominated by the anxious voice, the more likely they’ve been trained to ignore the intuitive one.

Renae: What practices do you use when anxiety shows up, to get back to intuition?

Morgan: First I ask, “Is this anxiety?” Usually it is. Then I remind myself I can’t always trust the thoughts I have from an anxious state. I regulate first. Deep breaths can help. But anxiety often comes with cortisol and adrenaline—your body preparing for fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. That energy needs to discharge. I’ll stand up and shake, dance, go for a walk—something to move the energy—before I reflect from a grounded place. You can feel the difference: grounded doesn’t feel like alarms going off.

Renae: Dissociation over time can make it hard to inhabit the body. Many environments reward “sit down, don’t rock the boat,” which can train people to disconnect and disregard intuition. How do we encourage awareness and self-advocacy?

Morgan: To stay awake in the body, it helps to name sensations and use the senses to ground—holding ice for thirty seconds, smelling an essential oil, lighting a candle, drinking tea. Sensory engagement helps bring you back. For self-advocacy, take it in small doses. If saying, “That feels uncomfortable” is too big, scale it down. Start with someone safe—maybe a best friend. Practice small boundaries. With trauma, taking steps that are too big can propel you backward, so small steps matter.

Renae: Post-pandemic, many people recognized how overwhelmed they already were. Workplaces often prioritize production and performance, leaving no space for pausing and reflecting. Why do we wait until therapy environments to do simple check-ins? Check-ins should be part of our day. Even if you’re not “in charge,” you can lead by modeling it—“Can we check in before we start?”

Morgan: Totally. There’s a misconception that checking in makes things less productive. In the long run, it makes you more productive. If you keep pushing through without transitions, your body eventually shuts down. That leads to more time off and less productivity overall.

Renae: Anything else you wanted to make sure to share with summit participants?

Morgan: Trauma is often defined as an objectively horrible experience that flips someone’s world around—and it can be. But it doesn’t always look loud. Trauma is in the eye of the beholder. Many people have experienced things that impacted their sense of safety and don’t fully realize it or validate it. Recognizing and naming that can make a big difference. It helps validate yourself and give yourself the care you need around that experience.

Renae: Absolutely. The pandemic is a collective example—lack of safety, lack of connection, uncertainty, fear. Trauma isn’t just the event; it’s the impact on us and our relationships. When we normalize how common trauma is, we can reduce shame and understand that when we “don’t human well” together, real hurts happen. And when those hurts disconnect us from safety and belonging, that’s where trauma takes root. Either we need co-regulation, or we offer co-regulation, and we should normalize that.

Morgan: Absolutely.

Renae: I’m grateful for your journey and the way you bring curiosity, openness, and willingness to explore. You’re living self-trust and refusing self-abandonment, and you’re helping other people do the same—be healthy, aligned, and fully themselves. Thank you.

Morgan: Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Renae: Wonderful. Thank you for being here.

Morgan: Of course. Thank you for having me.