Connection Changes the Room: An Education Summit Panel on Safety, Repair, and Belonging

Renae: We're going to start with our introductions. So today I introduction your name where you're calling from your role, you can answer a question of, What is something that you have either encountered or heard or experienced, and that first day and a half of the summit that has been either a reminder or a Something that's been new, or something that can has helped you to think about things in a different way. And the question of the day, we won't do drinks because we've already had that discussion. But it would be, how do you know? Yes, I yes, there's the Diet Mountain Dew. Thank you, Casey. How do you. Know that summer is over and we are transitioning to fall. What is the milestone for your life that says we're we're in that transition? Okay? So I will start just to model. My name is Renae. I am the founder and CEO of TraumaWise. I am calling from Southern California. And for me, the transition generally in my head, it has been set in from the school system in the Midwest, which is Labor Day. School started after Labor Day, and school ended around Memorial Day, and so we the rest of the time was was free, but that was the the beginning of fall for me, and I can start to pull out sweaters. Even though I live in California, I can pull out my sweaters and get ready for the onslaught of pumpkin spice everything. And the thing that has been that I jumped ahead so I modeled terribly, the thing that has been a Rema like a good reminder for me and the aha for this, this summit is hearing it, this be part of our topic, but the the very different broad approaches to this, this idea of, how do we bring trauma informed care, TraumaWise education, into spaces and places that it really just does take all of us. It takes all these different voices and perspectives and understanding. And it's not that one person or even one entity organization, has all of the answers, but that the different ways that our amazing brains understand and we even and process and share that information is actually required, and so I think of some of you before I've heard that the the next t shirt I'm going to make for it. Emily, forever, it was all behaviors, communication. I know you still have the t shirt. I do too. Been wearing it for almost a decade, right? But the next t shirt is democratized expertise. And really that it that we are all experts in our own experience, and then we have a PhD in ourselves and that that is very, very valid, and our internal wisdom is really valid. So it's just been beautiful to hear all of these different perspectives. All right, it was way long winded. Um, Emily, you were the first person to sign in. So I'm going to popcorn to you, and I'm going to mute myself.

Emily: Okay, sounds good. I actually just sent somebody a picture of that shirt last night when we were talking about parenting their child. So I do still have it. Is very relevant. Still. I'm Emily Remsen. I'm an IEP advocate an educational therapist and an inclusive ministry consultant based out of Orange County. What else was next? The thing that I think was most impactful for me thus far yesterday, I know I commented, but listening to Thomas's clip yesterday, it brought me back to something that Renae actually said to me in a training a long time about a good boss isn't somebody who tells you what to do, it's somebody who provides you with what you need to be successful. And that boss can be she said it in the context of parenting. How you say it to sometimes it's teachers, sometimes it's a boss at a job, sometimes it's a parent, and that's what I want her to put on a t shirt next. And I think that's really true in the classroom, and I I wish more teachers felt that, because I think it is an empowering thing too. It's not like a thing that it is like a heavy weight, but it doesn't feel as heavy when you think about it that way. It feels empowering and respond like the responsible way to run your classroom. And I think that's really changed a lot for me, when I was in the classroom for 10 years in special ed and Gen Ed, and then fall to summer, like summer to fall transition. I think for me, I used to work in college football for a little while in when I was in school. And so, like, when the season actually starts, like, not pre season, like, that's when I feel like it's fall for college football.

Renae: And then, yep, you get to pick

Emily: next. I think David logged in next. So I'll pass it to him. Yeah. I

David: thank you, Emily, good one on the football. I like that. Yeah, I thought of that one for us. It's, it's all about the leaves on the trees. You know, on the east coast, Washington, DC, the leaves start to turn yellow, and they become just beautiful out here. So that's the first time that we know it's going to get cold soon. Yeah, yeah, you too, yeah. So my name is David Starbuck Smith. I work with the physical and emotional components of chronic and acute pain, musculoskeletal pain, mostly, and been doing it for 25 years, and I haven't actually had a chance to watch any of the content yet, so I cannot comment on that, except to say that I'm excited to watch it. I'm excited to learn and hear from everyone else. And next, let's go with Dr. Vicki Sanders.

Dr. Vicki: Hello there. I'm Dr. Vicki Sanders. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist in the Central Valley of California, where we have two seasons, the summer and the quasi summer, which is what you all call winter. Last year, I think we got like, four days of rain, and I think it got under 30 degrees, like twice, like we don't. I didn't wear a jacket at all last year. It's lovely. So I loved having yesterday we did a call with all of the speakers, and I loved being able to talk with everybody about sort of how things were, the networking time and the that initial kickoff time. I'm in private practice, and so I'm very much in my little world, and so it's nice to speak to people who are outside of my little world, and remember that there are a lot of services out there. I loved hearing about Cedric's program. There's lots of services out there. We need to get them to the right places. And so that was something that was super helpful to me. I always have two indicators that it's the fall. One is for school. School starts for us next week, and so everybody suddenly needs an appointment after 3pm and I'm like, Guys, and we have so many appointments after 3pm and every year, on the Sunday of Labor Day, my husband leaves for a work trip to Asia. And so the first that's the start kick off of his travel season. And so that's my second like way of knowing that it's the fall, because we don't have leaves that change colors. We have leaves and then we don't That's it, but it's a good place to live. Anyways, I'm going to pass it off because I mentioned Cedric. I'm going to pass it off to Cedric.

Cedric: Thank you very much. So I'm Cedric Bertelli. I'm the founder and director of the emotional health institute. With it is a non profit corporation, as I guess you say, running out of the USA, France and Japan, and we develop a methodology called Emotional resolution, or MRAs, that we teach to therapists, coaches, physical therapists, educators, to to work with trauma, PTSD, depression, anxiety, phobias, etc. It is, it is based on the fact that a debilitating emotional pattern is an outdated prediction from the brain, and how to support the brain to update this prediction, prediction, so taking an information instead of reacting from it. Okay, enough of that. Sorry. I don't know why we're into this route. It's, I'm used to it. I apologize. So how do I know that it's, it's fall because actually, it's getting warmer, like I'm calling from Oakland, California, and the Bay Area is pretty cold during the summer. It has been. Today is nice, but it has been like 6263 like down to the 50s sometimes. So when the warmth come back in the bay, you're not an fall is is coming back. And then, of course, the kids going back to school. My little one is going back. He came back yesterday, and my older one, just like some of you guys, in couple of weeks. So that's when fall comes. What? What came up for me since the beginning of the summit, like David, I didn't have a chance yet to listen to all the speakers. I am going to do that tonight, so I'm looking forward to it. But it's all just a reminder that it's a collective, right, like several of you said, it's a collective, and we all do our own thing, and we have all our methodologies, our theories. It anyway. It doesn't matter, as you said, it's we have to find places like this one. So thank you, Renae, where we can be reminded that we are collective and we we complete each other. And that's a good reminder for me. So I look forward to to get to know more about your work guys, and to hopefully go. Elaborate on the long on the long term, because that's that matters to me. Thank you very much. And then I'm going to give it to to Casey.

Casey: Hello, I'm a in service, direct support person in classrooms and in home. I have a bunch of the tbri, etc, etc, initials that I can claim. But generally, I just try to create safety for kids. That's the thing I do, the thing that's been impactful for me again, having listened to everybody's transcripts us. I've, I've, I know all of these and yesterday, just going through and hearing people talk about it in a different perspective, in a different way, was super helpful for me, even though I've been a little under the weather so I wasn't able to stay for everything. Hearing the nuances that weren't in the presentations has really opened my understanding of what people are providing and how it's applicable. It's awesome that we get to give our presentations and do our interviews. It's great to hear the discussion. That's what's been enlightening for me, is that open discussion on not only what everybody individually is doing, but how it interplays and it's fantastic. And because I work in a classroom, my delineation from summer to fall is pretty on the 11th, my summer ends, school begins, I guess the 10th when I'm panic getting and getting my bag ready and getting all my clothes ready, and doing all that stuff the day before you return to work after an absence, that's, I guess when my Summer ends. I'm gonna pass this off to Lotus.

Lotus: Hi everybody. Hope everyone's doing well. My name is Lotus La Loba. I am a reverend. I am a beauty, theologian and writer, and I specialize in Emotional Freedom Techniques, which help people to navigate the trauma that's within the body. And absolutely love what I do, and I'm gaining insight off of, like, the question. I wasn't here for the initial question, so I'm thinking, like, what was the takeaway so far from the summit was one of them let me know that's okay, perfect. I see the head nods. Okay, perfect for me. I haven't watched the classes yet because I'm I'm currently, like, still working, but the conversation that we were able to have yesterday, which is so beautiful. I was literally telling my sister how nourishing it felt to speak to the people who are just as passionate about me when it comes to trauma and how we can navigate it as a community and then in the different subsets of communities. So just having that conversation, talking to Emily a little longer too, like it was just so nice to be like, Wow. You care as much as I care. Like, yes, it feels really nice. Sometimes I'm the only one in the room that's, like, willing to acknowledge that trauma is a thing, you know, and like, how deep it can really be. So it's nice to be amongst kindred spirits. So I love that. And when I know it's fall. Honestly, it's like a sense for me, because I'm a fall baby. It's like, I just know I'm like, my time is coming. It's time for me to come alive, you know. And I'm on the East Coast too. So as David was saying, like the foil list starts changing. It's absolutely stunning. And there's like, this beautiful, like, crisp air, like the scent to it that just smells like autumn, and you're like, yeah, it's time, and I thrive. I'm a fall baby. I'm suffering through the summer as we speak, but once it's fall, I'll be shining again. I'm not sure if anyone else did not go I see Ashley's name, but I'm not sure Renae let me know we're good.

Renae: Oh, thank you so much. And I, I'm, I'm a little jealous of your seasons. For those of you who have them, I remember the first time that I moved from the Midwest to Southern California, and if you're a transplant, it is not uncommon that you get sick the first fall, because your body is used to a season and you don't have one, and so there's like this weird thing that happens, so I had to kind of detox from that a little bit. We we have very, very strange weather patterns in Southern California. Thank you to all the people who screwed up the ecosystem by bringing your plants to a desert. Okay, so let's go ahead and start with our question for the panel. And what we can do here is we can either use the raise hand feature, or you can raise like raise your physical hand. And when you would like to step in, just so that we can leave space for people. So the question that I'd like to start with, because we're talking about implement, barriers to implementation, and this has come up in the conversation so far in the summit, it's come up in the a lot of presentations, whether it's directly or obliquely, but the process of implementation is sometimes treated like a treatment model. That is, we are going to do this one thing to address this one issue which is not system minded. The reality is that trauma is a systems issue. It is not an event issue. It is a systems issue because of the way that the system is leaving space for processing, because of the messages that the system has about whether that was a trauma or not. What you know there's, what are there? Are there supports is, are there re traumatization, all of those types of things. And so we are not able to just decide to have a new neural pathway. But in fact, there are, there are ways that we need to build new understanding and process the impact that's in our bodies with that new understanding in order to heal from the impact. So what do what do you see is the is the number one objection or pushback or thing that you hear when you're talking about the implementation of travel wise principles in education, in spaces where people learn, that tells you that they that the understanding is not holistic, right? So we're what we're teasing out is the things that would tell us that what we're running into, it's not that the person doesn't believe that there's trauma, or doesn't know that there's trauma, but in fact, they can only see one piece of it. They're seeing a symptom. Is something that's a behavior, or they're seeing it as somebody who's disorganization of mind, or they're seeing it as emotional regulation issues, or whatever it happens to be, and not as a holistic thing. So I think I am hopped up on some cold medicine. Y'all. So if that wasn't clear, please let me know I in my mind, it was super clear, but do we got it alright? So that's the question. Feel free. Who'd ever like to jump in first?

Dr. Vicki: Because I can't figure out the raised hand feature on my Zoom. I'm just gonna jump right in. So the biggest struggle that I have is two things. The biggest barrier I feel like one is I just don't have time for that is what I hear teachers and I understand teachers are overwhelm. My mother was teacher for 30 years, so before I send a letter to any teacher, I call my mom, and I read it to her, and I ask her, like, are these things reasonable? And at first she'd say, no, because maybe they were unreasonable. But what I struggle with the most, and I mentioned this on our initial call yesterday, is that I hear from people a lot. I understand but and then they finish the sentence. And so unfortunately, I think because so many of our teachers and administrators are overwhelmed. It feels as though they don't. I don't have time to care about this one kid, because I have 30 kids. What's discouraging for me is, if we treated those 30 kids the way this one could really like would benefit from being treated, if we implemented what all these kids need, I'd have so much more time on my hands. I did have one teacher who started doing relaxation activities with all of her kindergarteners every 30 minutes, and she went from having the principal in her office twice a day to having the principal in her office once a week because of behaviors, because she's did it with everybody, and it took, you know, one to two minutes, and behaviors went way down. She said she had extra time that she had to figure out how to fill at the end of every day, which I thought was lovely. So for me, that's one of the barriers. Is that worse our our school staff are so overwhelmed at the idea of implementing one more thing is like, Nope, can't do that. I just don't have the energy to pour into that which is disappointing and discouraging to me.

Casey: Okay, the I've raised my hand, um, it was easy for be easy for me to say, administration, um. People who aren't boots on the ground in the classroom, but it's really a systems issue. Trauma Recovery is not a measurable outcome in a lot of ways. What is measurable is reduction in behavioral episodes. What's measurable is test scores. I work in a non public school environment. Every single student on our campus has an IEP, but we're still teaching to test and standardize testing, and we have a points and level system, which is just a, you know, 100 times opportunities to fail during the day. It is emotionally disrupting the children, but it's measurable. Our entire nationwide system uses it trying to break down that system and help them realize that it's not serving these kids is I feel like not my cross to bear, but it's my goal at the moment, and I've had to accept that I may need to move On from the organization, because it may be the last battle I fight there, but it's that standardization of everything for kiddos who don't fit in a standard No, but no kid fits in a standardized, standardized mold anymore, but for The kids who have an IEP who it's in writing, they don't fit the standard mold to have that standardization, because it's measurable. Has been the real challenge. I found, Dave, go ahead,

David: I don't work with trauma the same way you work with it. I'm a body guy, but I see trauma play out physically every single day. In fact, I would say 90% maybe 100% of people that walk in, or walked into my clinic, we're dealing with some kind of emotional stress or past trauma in conjunction with physical pain, a couple things from a systemic perspective. One is that what I've learned is that we and as you all know, we're not taught to process trauma. We're just not taught we're not taught to feel our emotions, and we're taught to bury emotional pain, stuff it down, ignore it, play it off, suck it up. So from a physical standpoint, we know that gets buried in our bodies and then it plays out eventually, or can play out in pain. That's the first thing. I think. The next thing is that we're not taught from a physical perspective to actually acknowledge emotional pain and as it relates to physical pain. So our traditional Western medical model is to go see the doctor, and yes, sometimes the doctor will say, Are you under a lot of stress? But that's about the extent of it. There's no teaching on how to process that stress, on how to deal with that stress. Go to see the psychologist. But it's separate from this issue, issue of your back pain, your cancer, your whatever. So from for me, in the work, in my perspective there, that systemically, we're just missing, we're we're we're missing the teaching, especially if, since so many of you work with kids, to be able to teach kids how to actually process and feel their emotions in real time, to be able to talk to them about about what they're going through and what they're feeling, and be open with it, and let that be okay, and then to understand at some point how our emotional pain, or I should say, our physical plane pain, reflects our emotional pain. And so when you are sick, when you are hurt, when you are dealing with a physical issue, to look at the emotional stuff that's there. We're not we're just not taught to do that. We're just taught to take a pill, get a shot, or go to the doc.

Renae: Yeah, David, it's a really, I really like that point, and I'm sorry I did. I sneezed real, and I'm not in some, not a pretty sneezer. It's a really gross sneezer type of thing. But the that physical piece, and this is, this is part of why David's here, is that he has his specific he and I went back and forth too, like, I just want to let you know that he he applied. And I was like, tell me how this applies. Tell me how this applies. And he was able to show me, this is how what I do applies to this. US, and did a really good job of of drawing the connections for me, which really opened up and why I had three people who do body work for this particular summit. Because what, what I hear David talking about there is that dissociation from our emotions, from our experiences, that that even the the Vicky, the the butt is, is a form of dismissal and disconnection from a reality, and say, I'm not. I'm I either don't have the capacity for it, well, generally is I don't have the capacity for this, this reality, and so I'm going to have to stop my engagement of this reality right here. But what we know is that leaves us without finishing our emotions. We don't have a completion of that emotional cycle of that negative experience, whether it's negative or positive, we start to become emotionally illiterate, because we're not finishing that cycle. We're not allowing ourselves to have our full range of emotions and have people in support systems around us that help to bring us comfort and bring our parasympathetic nervous systems online. So we're we're underdeveloped in our emotions, in feeling, and we're underdeveloped in our community and connection, because we don't have that what, what is what we are meant to have is that support that is helping us to know that we're that we're going to be okay, that we're going that we're in it. We may not have full relief for whatever is causing us distress, but we are not alone, and that is so important. David, did I cut you off? Were you still talking when I sneezed? Okay, I just wanted to make

David: sure. Thanks for asking. No, you're perfect. Okay,

Renae: Cedric, I would love for you to jump in here and talk about your your perspective.

Cedric: I agree with, with what has been said so far. We we work here in San Francisco with dedication special education. This is how we got into the school district working with with special need kids, neurodivergent kids, I guess. And it's we're going back to what, what Vicky said, which is the teachers are so, so busy, so overwhelmed, that what we found is that they were playing what we were teaching them when, in a way, they were distressed or disturbed by a student. So they don't have the what we don't have the space. They don't have the time to notice when a kid is acting shy or anxious, or a little, a little, can I say, fearful. They don't have the space. They just can't do it. And when they try to apply the methodology, it's already too late. But it's also extremely tiring, and and and exhausting on the teacher to have to, to to have to deal with with all these emotions around them and their own emotion so we, we at first, we, we tried to teach the teacher how to do the work with the kids. But it's it doesn't work. It doesn't work because they don't have the time to take care of themselves first. So we shifted in, in really focusing on teaching the teacher as much as possible how to do it on themselves, and the kids how to do it on themselves. And it goes with, with, with some of you said, which is, recognize when you have an emotion and don't try to power through it, don't try to act from it, don't try to behave, but acknowledge it and be intimate with it. And as you said, Renae, allow, allow the body to go through the this full circle. And the more people are going to do that, the more kids are going to that in the classroom, the more teachers are going to do that, the more the classroom is going to be a place for resilience. Because I talk about a bit about that in the presentation. People nowadays say you've got to be resilient. You should be more resilient, but That's complete nonsense. Resilience happen when your environment is nurturing and loving and give you the space, as you said, Renae to actually. Resilience is something that grows naturally, just like a seed. It's not something that you're supposed to be you're not supposed to be resilient. You're supposed to be alive. You're supposed to be with your sensations, with your emotions. So the whole idea is, is that is, how can we? How can we create a more, more for resilient workspace, for for people at school, but also at work? So, yeah,

Renae: beautiful. Thank you. Cedric, um, yes, Lotus, first of all, that was

Lotus: just so amazing. So I. Great. I was, like, really blown away. Thank you for saying that. That was yes, 100% I'm thinking about like from my experience of working in and out the classroom. So I've been fortunate enough to be able to work like as a teacher, and then as a social emotional wellness coordinator for schools, and then also working with the parents. So what I found is that like teachers are like, you said, overwhelmed, not just from what they have to do inside the classroom with the students or dealing with the administration, but also, like parents who are like, hey, my kid is falling behind this thing. And like, you're not a good teacher because of this. And them like, I don't know how to converse with them about their child, because they are very set on who their kid is. And that might be true outside of the classroom, but I'm I'm engaging with a different student, right? And then them having to somehow navigate that dynamic between parents, then was child, and then admin is like, why is this parent constantly coming up to the school? Right? So there's this, like, very unhealthy ecosystem that teachers have to figure out how they're going to navigate through. And one thing that we did do at a few charter schools here in Philadelphia is that I came in and I was like a secondary teacher. So instead of me focusing on the curriculum, that's what the teacher focused on, I focused on helping the kids regulate, you know. And if I noticed that there was someone like Cedric said, like, there's someone maybe having a moment of someone maybe having a moment about something I picked up on, oh, I think they're getting triggered right now, giving them the time and space to come and speak to me, and it was really helpful, but unfortunately, it's something that can't be done in a lot of schools right now. Hopefully we can get to a space where we can provide that type of support. But what we noticed is that, in me doing that for a few different schools, the classrooms ran a lot better, like was said before, like they were just able to really process, or they were getting better language too. Of like, Hey, I'm having a big feeling right now, and it's hard for me to hear what you're teaching me. And then we were able to all pause collectively and be like, is anybody else having a big feeling, you know? And if someone else wasn't, I was like, I'm having a big feeling. So let's, let's bring together, you know. And being able to provide the language is really helpful. Because one thing I noticed with kids, I noticed with kids is that if you can teach them how to communicate, they like, really hold on to it, and they will use it in their time of need. Of like, hey, I need to one of my favorite things to do with like, getting them out of the mind into the bias. A big deal for me is like connecting it. Remember, there's like, this bridge, because a lot of times we're up here and that's really where we experience so much more of the heartache and the heaviness. But when we're able to put it through the body and let the body do its job, which is to navigate and transmute that energy, all of a sudden, you're able to carry things that were once very happy, and you're able to be like, okay, cool. I can, I can move through this with kids. I like to say, like, We're going to inhale, smell the roses, and exhale, blow the daisies. And it's something so simple, but like, they'll tell their friends, like, Hey, did you Did you smell the daisies? Did you like smell the roses? And you see them doing this breath work and like helping each other co-regulate. And I feel like sometimes we forget that kids are like, they're incredible. You know, if you are able to really teach some no expunge, they will soak it up, but they also will soak up behavior that is not helpful. So it's really up to us to figure out when we're going to show up in those spaces and provide them with what they actually need so that everyone can help. Because even in those moments, if, like, a teacher's having an issue, a child, can kind of come in and just kind of be like, Hey, I just want to, like, hold your hand, or I need a hug right now, and all of a sudden diffuse that situation between two adults who are kind of like in their ego right about to ballot it out. And I feel like we kind of, we are maybe a little bit dismissive and super protective of kids that we don't allow them to show up in their own healing. And I think that that would be really helpful to the structure of like helping other people understand trauma is like talking to them about it and allowing them to show up and share their own expertise. It may not be like what I'm teaching, but it's something, and it's very intuitive. Like they naturally know to get nearby. They naturally know that they want to breathe through something. And we kind of shut them off from that, because they're like your kids. You really don't know You know what I mean. Know what? I

Renae: mean, absolutely, that's beautiful, Emily and then, and then David and all right, Emily, you got it?

Emily: Okay? I think building off of that, just really thinking about school systems that are stuck in their box, school administrators, school teachers that are stuck in their box. Of like, this is how we've always done it. This is how I was taught. I've been really grateful for I've been able to teach in public schools, charter schools, private schools, and I've had some administrators I've gotten to work with that are very open minded. And it really does change, like Casey said, it is a lot of admin culture that plays into the whole school, but admin that are willing to look at something else, admin that were even willing to cover classes so teachers could go observe at other schools, in other classrooms on their campus. And I think that's huge. I'm a big believer, obviously, like I've been at a lot of very different schools, and I'm a big believer in not. Every school is the right fit for every kid. Not every school program is the right fit for every school. Having taught at a fully inclusive school, it was, I was a special ed teacher at a fully inclusive charter. I learned so many incredible things there that I was able to then bring to the private school I most recently was at, I think just that time to observe takes a lot of that pressure that Vicki was talking about off of teachers, even with if it's one afternoon of 30 minutes in another classroom that can be like that point to reset. And I really hope that more administrators are open minded to that, and more teachers are open minded to going and trying something new. I always joke about with, like, teachers that I've worked with in these different system, school systems. Like, when I was going through my credential program, I had a couple of professors that, like, they taught me, like, charter school was a bad word. Like, that's how I like, that's how the credentials program works like you would never work there. And while I do know of some not wonderful charter schools, there are a lot of wonderful charter schools in the world, in Orange County and in California, where you can do a lot of different things, but I think just that open mindedness that like we need to bring back into our credential programs as well, so that it's not just kids sit. They learn to read and write. They leave like there's a lot more to it, like lotus was saying. I at that same charter school, we had a lot of adults in the classroom. We had a special ed teacher and a gen ed teacher that CO taught all the time. They didn't switch teach. They co taught truly, and a lot of paras in the room able to check in with students, academically, social, emotionally, and everything else in between, a lot of parent check ins that happened. And it's not a system that works for every family, every kid, every school, but it worked there, and we had a lot of really great families that I really loved working with, and a lot of really great staff that were open minded to doing something totally different than what they learned about in their credential program or at a previous school, or what they'd experienced in their own education. That's another one that I hear a lot of. Well, this isn't how it was when I went to school, and just people open minded to that I think really can change

Cedric: the school system.

Renae: Beautiful. Yeah. Thank you, Emily. And just the yesterday, we talked about, how, how do we help people to see new ways? It's by sharing about them. It's about saying this is done, like there we we do have a lot of multi age classrooms that are coat that are co taught in Southern California, like we it is. It is a pretty phenomenal, amazing thing. And what, what happens in there is that student leaders naturally do arise and and care. They're caring for each other, and you learn that you're caring for people in your community that have less capacity and skill than you because they're younger, they haven't mastered as many things developmentally. And that's something. There's something really beautiful in that. David, I know you're going to jump on to the the internal wisdom of needing to move. Let's go.

David: You got me, but first I was going to say, I love Emily. What you're saying about being open minded, willing to try something new, willing to be different, and allowing for change to happen, rather than this is how it's done, and this is how we're going to do it, because it's so closed off. And also lotus, I love the idea that you're talking about empowering kids to to be part of their own recovery, and trusting them to be a part of that, and trusting their their thoughts and their feelings, and trusting them to speak about it. It's, I think it's huge, and from a physical standpoint, again, one of the things about about we know about trauma is, is that it's energy and it needs to be released. And this is when when emotions are energy and they need an outlet. And oftentimes they express them that outlet physically. The thing I was going to add is that the tragedy that I see systemically, often in many schools, is that PE and sports programs are being cut more and more and more kids are moving less. Now, from an evolutionary perspective, we as human beings never stopped moving for the first, however, many 1000s of years from the time we were born to the time we died, we literally never stopped moving. We were constantly up. Now we're in a world and a culture where we need to sit and for long periods of time. Kids, however, their bodies are still in the in the evolutionary phase right there, way back, just like our ancestors 1000s of years ago, the bodies need to move their metabolisms need to process energy, and they need to constantly use their mind. Muscles for development, for brain stimulation development, and, of course, for physical and physical motion coordination and so on. So the fact that we're taking away movement is impeding kids ability to really express emotional energy that they don't have the perspective, the training, or the, you know, the mindset to express. And so I think physical activity is a tremendous way that, in my opinion, is a tragedy, that we're seeing it being lost. And to the extent I would, I give parents and people advice all the time that we talk about breathing is a way to to release emotional stress. Well, that's a physical act. So is exercise just in general movement. And I think the more we can let kids move, the better they're going to feel.

Renae: Yes, absolutely. And then yes, Cedric, I see your hand 100% I will, I will point out that the outcomes that we have seen in schools that have been successful have never been schools that take away physical movement, but schools that add in opportunities for people to process, to move, to be hydrated, to have nutrition, to have safe people that have breaks woven in, that have safety valves, meaning that if I'm feeling overwhelmed, I have I know where my safe place and people are. All of that is is been part of what has made schools successful in helping to create the regulation. And regulation doesn't mean calm. Regulation means that I'm able to figure out what i How much energy and what I need to do in this time that I have, that I can get to my prefrontal cortex. But it though, we've seen it though it's it's never that it's people in kiddos sitting down at a desk, is his not and what the answer is for that? Cedric, go ahead.

Cedric: Thank you. I just wanted to share something that that we see at the emotional health institute. We collaborate with veterinarians in France. And as for an ethologist as well, you know the study animal behaviors, and as far as we can see, the only mammals that hold on to trauma are humans, pets and some form animals. And the commonality in that is that these pieces are being controlled. Right is control as parents, even if we care tremendously, at some point, we're going to control the emotion of our children, because we're hurt by their emotion, so we try to control the way they feel, and often the emotion is what you were saying earlier. The emotion doesn't have the time to complete, because we control, because we are impacted by the way they are suffering. Same thing with our dogs, our cats, they don't feel well. We take over. We control. We don't offer a place for resilience and nurturing. We take over because we are impacted by their suffering and in classes. But my wife is a physician. It's with teacher and physician. I think, at the beginning of a career, you start and you care so much, and you care so much, and you want to do the right thing, and you know, but because of the pressure, the amount of work, the parents, the kids, it's you ending up not acting for from from care, but from control, subconsciously, not because you want to control, because you have to control your surrounding in order to survive and to keep peace in the place. And I think what I try to talk about often is starting from caring instead of controlling. Are you saying something or doing something because you try to control for the for the greater good I understand? Or do you say do something because you care? That's what I wanted to say. Beautiful.

Renae: Beautiful. Cedric, and for those of us in the TBR world, it's the Connect before you correct and that we need to bring we have to high nurture high structure. And I was on staff at the Institute for for a while, and one of my first conversations in a consulting situation was to talk about the what high nurture high structure we can we want to say that, you know, the we want those to be imbalanced for our environments, and when people usually think about that, is that we're giving high nurture and high structure to a child so that they can feel safe, so they can feel connected, so that they are seen, heard and valued. I would. Posit that it's and it's what I said sitting, sitting in that meeting, and everyone thought I was like, what like, what it's for the adults that high nurture, high structure is actually what the adult, the in charge, adult needs, whether that is a parent, whether that is a teacher, whether that is a supervisor, whoever it happens to be, I, in order for me to like Emily says, To be a good leader, to be the good and I don't even use the word boss anymore. I use in charge adult, because boss bothers me. But to be a good in charge adult, I need high nurture and high structure. I need a system that's going to be able to support me so that I'm not having that fear response that Cedric's talking about, that need to control, to to to or Lotus would talk, you know, taking away that I the I don't like how you're behaving, so I'm taking away your your recess. I'm trying to control your behavior. And that comes from this place of fear, but if I have what I need, that in that high nurture, high structure, then I'm not responding from a place I'm not reacting from a place of fear. I'm responding from a place of curiosity and openness and care. But it does require a system, right? So this is why it comes back to the whole reason TraumaWise exists, and I'm not just and I'm not like doing things through my coaching business, which is one on one, is that this is about the system. So in our last eight or so minutes together, first I want to say for the educators, we have great, incredible, compassionate understanding for the reality of your situation, that across the board, you have too many kids in the classroom, you don't have nearly enough adults, and you don't have the support that you need. And we know that, period. And so we say this with absolute compassion, that part of the system is broken. So in the meantime, while we're advocating for you in the places that we can speak into to help people understand that we're setting you and this kiddos up for failure by not changing the environment. In the meantime, we want to support you. We we everybody here has some wisdom and knowledge and tools. And so the question is, what if an educator came up to you and said, I can't I don't have the capacity to do one more thing. What is something that you could say or give or offer to them to remind them that they're not alone, that there is hope, that there is there, there's something for them. And so that's the question. I know it's a big question. We ask big questions here for the panel, Emily, you've raised your hand so you get to go first.

Renae: Unmute, please.

Emily: I lowered my hand instead of unmuted myself. Sorry, I'm not very good at the hand raising on Zoom. I think really building off of what Casey talked about in his presentation is like, finding those connection points with kids like that doesn't take that long. It doesn't really take one more thing. It's like, well, you're doing what you're already doing. A big part of that, like, I that I came to appreciate, because I think it is a lot different now. Like, I'm really grateful for all the specialists I worked with, like the art teachers, the PE teachers I got to teach. I took a break from special education during covid for a very, very short time, and taught PE for a year, and then moved into a role where I was the special education director at the same school. So I had all the students for PE, and then when I the teachers would come to me with students that had a hard time that I was like, that kid was my best kid in class. I'm like, What do you mean? He doesn't know what what you're talking about when you ask him to do X, Y and Z, and we would talk about, like, giving kids responsibility movement is what I really started thinking of this when David was talking like my kids that were doing like, wall push ups during our warm up to self regulate as we started my instructions for the game, stuff like that. I think something I wish I had the opportunity to do, like the foresight, I guess, to do as a classroom teacher, is to take any time I can to go visit those specialists, not every week. Like I'm not going to give up my prep every week because I have lots of papers to get ready and activities to get ready, but to visit the art classroom and see which kids are just on fire for art. It is at the PE gym, or wherever they're doing PE, and see which kids are really on fire there. And you're not in charge of your kids there, necessarily, but you get to at least see and just sit back and observe for a few minutes, even it doesn't have to be the whole time, and kind of take. A deep breath of your own while you watch the kids have fun, and those same kids just light up. I know Lotus is ready to go.

Renae: Yep. Thank you, Emily. Go ahead, Lotus. I'm just over here, like, yes,

Lotus: yes, this is so amazing. Yeah. As David was speaking, I'm like, I did Hi, I did some I was a wellness coordinator for asphalt green in New York City, so it was a lot of body movement. And I noticed too, that the schools that had less time for them to go outside, like some kids were getting 15 minute recesses. And I'm like, how does that work? And they're there, like, sitting down for eight hours, and you're expecting them to, like, pay its I wouldn't even pay attention. So one thing I would say for educators and me, also being one, is how important it is to take care of yourself first. I know it sounds very cliche. I'm like, Yes, I get it, self care, self care, but you cannot hold space for them if you're not holding space for yourself, like no matter how passionate you are, no matter how dedicated you are to what it is that you're doing, and when you're showing up, if you are not taking care of yourself, it's just going to that's what they're going to feel from you, because they're feeling bodies first, for kids, like they feel before they're able to really process in the mind, where we have kind of conditioned ourselves to think it through first, and then hopefully it gets to the body most times it doesn't. So it's really important for us to take that time out to care for ourselves. And something else that I love to tell adults, parents, educators, especially, be honest with your students, if you're having a hard day, tell them that you'd be so surprised how empathetic they become. Of like, Oh snap. Like, you know, Lotus is having a hard day. Like, let me maybe let me ease up. You don't give them the opportunity to because you're like, we have to hold it all in and be strong. Tell them the truth and then ask them how they're feeling. They might tell you, too, that they're having a hard day too, and you're able to pivot from that. I know we think that taking time out to check in on feelings or to move the body takes away from the curriculum, because we're forced to, like, have to deal with these tests that Casey was speaking about, like, hitting these goals. But if you're able to give yourself and your students, like, five or 10 minutes a day, you'd be very surprised at how much more you're able to get done and how willing they are to process the information. So even if it's something as silly as, okay, we're gonna go outside and, like, jump up and down for a little bit, you know, or we put on depending on their age group, we put on a certain song. When that song comes on, no matter what that means, we stop and we start moving our bodies. It helps them to get the energy out, which is super important, and it allows them to get back into their body so they can actually process the information. So that would be like my insight, like taking care of yourself, being honest with the students and allowing them to move their bodies even more than what they're being allowed to in the school structure would do wonders for your experience. And I'm personally speaking from firsthand experience as an educator, like private schools, public schools, charter schools, after school programming like everything could possibly imagine over oh my gosh, like 15 years, and I feel like those three things are the things that have saved me time and time again and renew my passion for what is that I do?

Renae: Beautiful. Thank you. Lotus. All right, go ahead. David, uh,

David: 60 seconds. 60 seconds to close your eyes, to breathe five deep breaths to just try and empty your space for 60 seconds. Can reset everything, reset your nervous system, reset your heart rate, reset your blood pressure and clear the space so that you are able to deal and cope with your your present reality, whatever that may be. So I just, I just offer that as a technique that I use all the time and with my clients, just to clear that 62nd space. And we know breathing works, but, but when we're feeling overwhelmed, when we're feeling like we just can't take on one more thing, as Lotus is saying, taking care of yourself has to be the number one priority so that you can give to others. You can't give away what you don't have. So you can't give your energy if you've got none left. So taking that, that 60 seconds to yourself, to breathe, to close your eyes, even if you have to step out of the classroom and take that time is can be invaluable to then moving forward and having that space for to keep going and to be there for those kids.

Renae: Thank you. David Casey, got 30 seconds of Yeah, going along

Casey: with what David just said, just for me, closing my eyes, but listening to the classroom and realizing that this is my chaos. These are my kids. No other classroom is like this. I've got some unique kids, and it's ridiculous. The things we're doing, it's absolutely ridiculous, but we're the only people who can do it. And just loving these kids and realizing that, you know, I'm going to walk in every day, and this is going to be the case. Chaos, but that kid's gonna make me smile, and that kid's gonna frustrate me, but I know that I'm gonna get to them eventually, and just remember that you were put here for a reason, and yeah, sometimes that reasoning expires and you move on. But for the moment, this is my chaos, and I'm gonna enjoy it. I'm gonna love on these kids. And, you know, closing my eyes and just listening, you always hear that one thing that just makes you smile. That's what I recommend,

Renae: beautiful Well, thank you, Casey for that and and for all of you for the reminder of the the importance of not losing yourself as you're caring and serving. And I think that that pushes on some things for some people, because it's very much. You're, you know, you're you're pouring out, you're giving. And I, and I'm going to say very firmly, as a person who cares very deeply for a lot of people, my self care is not. My self care is not so that I can care for other people. My self care is because I am worthy of the time and the energy and the space to nourish my heart, mind, body and soul, so that I can be who I'm supposed to be in this world. The the the effect after that is that I get to share that with people, and I get to be present and caring people, because I'm not feeling a scarcity that I'm not going to have the things that I need to show up and so it is my, my number one thing is to do my peaceful protest of saying this is it is okay for me to carve out this time for me, it is okay for me to say no to these things and say yes to these things, because that's what I need in order for me to bring my full and authentic self into spaces and every single person that is watching this or listening to this or reading the transcript, that is absolutely true for you as well. So I want you to know that you are not alone, that you are worthy of being seen, heard and valued. You could never teach another day, and your worthiness does not change at all. You are worthy of taking up space, you are worthy of care, you are worthy of the good stuff. And so with that in mind for our speakers, I want to thank you so much for being here for this panel and for people who have participated, and thank you all for bringing all that you do into the spaces and places. You're absolutely amazing. Thank you. Applause.