Embodied Healing: Breath, Surrender, and Spiritual Renewal (with Ali Levine)

Renae: And so what was that? When that answer a little bit and again, only use as much as you feel comfortable sharing. What was the answer to that? How? How? How am I supposed to surrender more? Lord,

Ali: well,

Renae: what was the answer? Honestly,

Ali: the answer was the breath. And that's why I became certified in this work. He said to me very clearly, Ali, breathe. Breathe. And I was like, I mean, he's like, no, no, not like that. Breathe like, allow me to work through you. And I honestly, Renae. I've gotten not in the tub. And then he was, like, two o'clock afternoon, I was hysterical. I got in our bathtub, and I just started crying. Got down my hands and knees, and I took these deep breaths in the water, and he just spoke to me, and, like, poured over me, and was like, you have to surrender deeper to me. And I know for you that is your breath, because you get so in your mind, and you allow yourself to create all these situations that aren't maybe actually happening yet, or potentially could happen, and then you lose sight of me, and you go back to control. And I was like, whoa. And I remember journaling this and writing this down. He said, You have to breathe. You have to breathe with me. And so once I fully received that and felt that refreshing after I got out of the bathtub, I remember I sat there for another thing was two hours, my toddler came and found me. She got in the tub with me, and I'm just like crying and breathing in the tub. And I said to my husband, I got out that night, I said, I have to sit and breathe every day. And he looked at me, and he goes, okay. And I said, No, God is telling me like I have to breathe every day, so I need you to create space for me and take a million so I can breathe every day. And that's really where it began __________ was I started breathing, and I started doing some breathing sessions online with some guided facilitators, and as I did, I started to feel the weight lifting from me. I started to feel God was speaking so much deeper to me than I'd ever received, and I was able to connect on a level that honestly, I don't know if I've ever had in my life before, and I started to actually understand the true gospel of who he was and not the religion of him, which just to back up a little bit, when I walked away in 2013 I was walking away from the religion and that relationship that I had growing up as a child. And there's nothing wrong with that, but for me, that was not actually fulfilling me, and was not giving me what I needed from the Lord, and I have now learned how to have that deeper faith and that walking, talking, breathing, meditating, word with him all day, all night long, and that, I think, is the deeper surrender, right? Like as he taught me how to take those sacred pauses and breathe, he would speak life into me. And so the things that I was experiencing in the world and the control that was happening around me, he would essentially take away and say, but that's not the truth. The truth is what I'm telling you. And are you going to surrender and believe and trust in that faith and trust in what I'm telling you? Are you going to continue to listen to the world? And I'm not going to lie in 2020 listening to God and listening to the World was very hard, because the world was very loud and very noisy and very chaotic. And no matter what spectrum you were on, he was just loud. And so it was a deep surrender for me. I get emotional because it was a deep surrender for me to trust Him and say, I am going to trust you when they took partners away from the hospital, and I thought I was going to have my husband, I told I trusted him. He said, it's all going to be okay. You've got to breathe. You're going to trust me. And I did. And by the grace of God, my husband was able to be there when I gave birth. I mean, there were some really beautiful miracles that happened in that time. Had a vaginal birth after a C section, and my daughter, Ali, in 2020 he taught me that when we surrender deeper and we trust in Him, and we truly surrender mind, body and spirit, it's not he was teaching me. It's not one part of the other. It has to be the entire being, because we get so stuck in our flesh, and we are flesh and spirit, that when we surrender to that hymn, that way we can actually receive the miracles, even in the hardest times, even in the darkness, he can bring us through and bring us that joy in the grief. And that was the biggest lesson for me, was learning surrender, and that's really what I teach. At the core of my teachings, that's

Renae: beautiful. There's so many times in what you were just sharing, that the word embodiment came up for me, and that the the you know, Faith without works is is dead.

Ali: Yeah,

Renae: right, that we, that we, we can't have theories. And even theology and and doctrine and dogma and and words that stay on a page of a piece of paper, right or are just even our spoken and that's where it ends. It's we can't know our way into into relationship. We embody relationship where there's action that is taken and there's there is no, there is no growth without there being some level of change that happens, which means there's a death and resurrection that happens every part of our growth journey. And if we are, if we're hiding from that, if we're running from those hard situations, if we're running from the the tiny little desks that we go through all the time, we can't grow. And that's when we'll just have that, that kind of, that flat image that's, you know, we'll run to the facade that is not the full truth, because at least it, at least we're like, okay, but if I can get to something that looks like it, maybe no one else will look close. And I don't have to look close either. I

Ali: could just kind of keep it here, and it's gonna say, Well, exactly. And I feel like I was doing that in meditation. You know, it's interesting. You bring that up, because when 2020, hit and everything, when he was telling me to breathe, I was like, okay, yes, okay, I'll breathe. But then I started going back to, like, my notes and my practices, and I'm like, I said, God, why isn't my Why aren't my meditation practices working? Why? Why is my other mindset stuff not working? And he said to me, because you got yourself in such a space where you willed yourself to your point of where you made this perfect image of, like, this is what I do, and then I'm done, and I think it's over. And I had just begun working with you. And he was like, You're so stubborn, which I am. And he was like, You're so stubborn, you need to get into the body. I need you to breathe so I can actually work through you. And that was where I recognized it was so powerful. And it's funny, after I spent over two years just allowing the breath to work through me and let Holy Spirit to move through then the mindset work started elevating me. Then the subconscious work started changing, and then it all really, mind, body, spirit alignment came together, and it was like, Aha, I get it, you know. But it's that embodiment, like you said, and it is. It's a it's a process. And I love that you said too about like the truth, because he kept speaking to me. He's like the truth will set you free. So are you going to continue to believe the lies? What are other other people, other limiting beliefs, the enemy, the entities, whatever it is, or are you going to trust me? And that was the deeper surrender. It's like, am I going to believe the truth, which is the gospel, or am I going to believe everything else that I've been surrounded by and I have essentially held me captive and kept me in chains, right? Even with my birth, when I went to have my V back, and I had 10 doctors before that doctor say to me, there's no way you can have a V back. You had a C section, once a C section, always a C section, and not medical advice, but there's 89% out there, women who proven that wrong, and, you know, up to this year, and I thought, Well, why can't I, you know, and God told me you can, but you have to believe you can, and you have to have faith that you can. And I know the reason I be back happen is because I walked with him, and I embodied that, and he made the shift for me.

Renae: Yeah, and, and, and I know that every how that, what that journey looks like, of the outcome is going to be different from for everyone. And so there may be times I, you know, certainly, even in my own story, in my in my own history, I've had to surrender outcomes to God that I really don't like how things are going. Yeah, I really don't. I would prefer it be something very different and and embracing the end. I, I know I'm not in charge of outcomes. I'm I'm, I can say, this is what I this is what my heart would desire. It's also my heart's desire is based in my understanding of myself and everything you know, my understanding of the world around me, and it's very limited. And so for that, that trust piece a job comes to mind here. Of like, did you hang up the stars in the sky? No, yeah, that was me,

Ali: yep. I've

Renae: got a bigger plan. You just need to, you need to hold on like I got you and I, and I feel that so strongly that that piece of the surrender is all I can do is keep showing up and practicing that, that that release of the illusion of control and and what I think, what's beautiful in it is that we find so much freedom in that, because we are no longer trying To obtain what the human understanding of perfection, because we can't well.

Ali: And something he spoke to me too with perfection, is his idea of perfection is not our human idea of perfection. And something that's coming to mind right now is we're speaking to is he? He's saying like, my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways, right? He has higher thoughts, he has higher ways. And so we see this much, right? And this is what we want to control. And he sees it all because he's helped in the omega. And I feel like, when you start to understand that he has it all, even if you don't fully understand, and I completely agree with you, there are many times in my life where I'm like, wow, God, I would have really liked things not to have gone that way, you know? Like, that's the human of us, right? And he knows that. But if we can trust in Him and surrender deeper and really just, I feel like so much of my own journey, like where I really found healing and continue to is that surrender of control. It's like when, when things are spitting out. For me, I have learned like, okay, sit down, take those deep breaths, get with God and say, What do I need to release to you right now? What do I need to surrender to right now? Because clearly I'm still holding it, and I'm not supposed to be, you know. And sometimes he'll, you know, he'll laugh me, and he'll be like, Well, you told me you gave me it, but last Friday, you're still trying to control it. What's all the phone calls about, you know? And I'm like, Okay, I give it to you, you know. But sometimes it's hard for us to do that, but I think the more when we can breathe so deep and receive the Holy Spirit working in us. There's something so powerful in the way the breath can reset our nervous system, you know, just taking it to the physical of our body and come back to that homeostasis, that parasympathetic nervous system, which so many of us sadly, don't operate in, because it's just not the way the world teaches us to operate. And we can come back to that space. There's so much beauty. I love to say, Come home to yourself through the breath, and it's like there's so much beauty in that there's so much centering that happens in those quiet moments. And then we can experience that freedom that you spoke about. Then we can allow that deeper surrender, because that that fear, that false evidence appearing real, essentially is no longer and we can hear the truth and we can know what's going on. Yeah, when

Renae: I I think too, there's this wisdom in as you were taking me through these, these, starting with the affirmations and then the meditation. And these, these steps, those steps are necessary. And this, it's not that there's there was nothing wrong with the affirmations, there was nothing wrong with the meditation. There was nothing wrong with each one of those steps. And it's not a there's no value judgment. So no matter where someone's at in their journey, but it is certain not but, and it no wonder where they're at of their journey, that's where they're supposed to be for that moment. And part of our maturity and part of our growing in processes is to realize, oh, that particular practice built the muscle that I need for this other practice, and I no longer need to come back to this foundation, because there was not growth in that same area. For me, I've grown that muscle, and now I'm moving to another muscle point to work on. And so it's but we that foundation piece, and that I appreciate the the affirmations piece, I call what you described, a formations, and that we're saying them to form them. And it's not that we're like playing some kind of gas lighting game on ourselves to say, Oh no, I am this thing. I am this thing. It is the imagination of transformation, the imagination of healing. And it's even saying something that we with the is true of us at some place, even if we don't feel like we're embodying it. That gives us the imagination to get there

Ali: absolutely and I love that, and also it's the way God sees us, right? He doesn't look at us and see what we see, right? We're literally perfectly made in His image. So it's like, going back to even just that with your affirmations, of like, okay, I'm gonna say what God sees of me, even if I don't see it of me, right? And that I am is so powerful. You know, it's funny, when I started doing the affirmations, and I would look in the mirror, at first, I would just say, you're beautiful, or, you know, you're smart, or your body looks great or and God corrected me, and he was like, I am beautiful, I am healthy, I am strong, you know? And I was like, Oh, when I started finally understanding that I am why it was so powerful, because it was so linked to him and what he was saying, I was like, oh, but you're right, that foundation is so needed, like, wherever you are in your healing journey right now it's perfect, because I would have never been able to get to the breath. Had I not started with affirmations, had I not started with meditation, because I need the mindset work, my mind was a wreck. It was a hot mess, you know, it needed to be deconstructed and and, you know, and rewired. But then, like you said, I outgrew that, and it became, it was a foundation, but it became no longer needed. And then I needed deeper work. And I also, you know, needed to release trauma that was physically stored in my body, which you know actually happens to us, and our physical, you know, vessel does hold, you know, and we can hold up to seven generations of trauma, is what they've discovered over time now, which is pretty wild. And think about your ancestors and lineage and all of it, right? And so we're holding quite a bit. And so not to overwhelm someone listening to that, but but one, give yourself grace, because we are holding so much. And two, to understand that once you go through those foundations, that maybe you do need to get into that nervous system, maybe you do need to get into the body to safely release what you are physically holding, and then give it to the Lord and let him actually heal you.

Renae: Yeah, absolutely. Well, it's that, that piece of neuroscience where we can't actually form neural pathways without experience, right? And so if we think about the the neuro sequential attachment paradigm that we it starts with this, this need of, do, am I safe but, and that's the when you, when you're when you're not feeling safety in your body and in your spaces. One of the first things that we as humans need is breath.

Ali: Yes, is

Renae: right, because our body would like or everything's constricting and we're getting ready to go into fight, flight or freeze and and it's that which is a meat Association disconnecting us from our ourselves and from others, that breath reconnects us to the world.

Renae: Yes,

Renae: right? It's this automatic redirection. And so that's we, we all actually have the first step in the in the journey, is that taking a breath. So what I would love to ask you, I do I have different practices that I go through, and I have a daily practice that goes anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour every day. And if I don't do it, everyone around me notices, definitely something that I have to do, and sometimes it doesn't end up being in the morning because of travel or whatever, but I still have, I not. It's not a checklist. No one's checking my work. No one's reading my journal. God does not care, in the same way that people might think. But I need it for my alignment, sure, right? So it's that piece of, what do I what do I need in order to get back to the truth of who I am, to root down into that and that breath piece of it is, there is not a day that I don't write down a reminder to myself to breathe, oh yeah. And I'm really good at breathing, but I have to remind myself all

Ali: the Oh yeah. I could teach it all day long, but I have to still remind myself absolutely, yeah, we're human right, like we could teach it, we could speak about it, we could be an expert in the space, but we still have to remind ourselves, because life happens right? And there's a lot going on. And I love that you do that, but you give yourself that space every day. And I used to take 45 minutes to an hour. Now I'm a mom of three, I'll just be super real, but I don't get that time as much, and we're on the weekends, and sometimes at night, if I get in the bath, and I get my, you know, that space. But for me, it's really about really kind of making it concise. And so it's like, in the morning, I just start with prayer. I start with some affirmations. I speak out what I'm grateful for, and I really just praise the Lord. I go to, like, Psalm 118 and just praise him for the new day and the joy that he's going to bring into my day. And then I take, usually, like, four rounds of breaths. And I usually either do a round of holding for four in my inhale, holding in for four and then releasing for four, or sometimes I will do a round of three and then do three, three and three. And that's kind of my go to if I'm having if I wake up and I notice I'm in a higher adrenaline state or something is going on immediately when I started my day, which happens here, being a mom of three, I will shift into the 478, breath, because, for those that don't know, it's a very calming, distressing really brings your nervous system to that, like total base level. And it's actually a very simple way to breathe. When you start to try it, you're just inhaling for four, holding for seven, and then releasing for eight. And that pattern starts to really not only bring you down to center, but then the neuro pathways that your brain, the neuro receptors, will actually start to calm and shut down just for a quick period of time while you do that. And many of us actually need that to be able to reset and start our day. And for me, when I need that, while that happens and I shut down, that's when I will speak out my affirmations, my declares and decrees, because then I'm also rewiring and really shifting the way that I'm starting my day. And then I usually get into a little bit of Scripture, get my feet on the ground and ground, and then get into my day. That's usually how my start goes. Some days, I get a little bit more into the breath, and I get a little bit more time with God. Other days, like I said, it's shorter, and I've gotta shorten it. But the cool thing is, for me, as a mom, my two daughters now watch me being embodied in this work, and they will sit with me, and they will breathe many times, and they will pray with me, and they will want to read a line of Scripture and ask what it means. So it's been really cool to see from my own embodiment how regulating myself is starting to co-regulate my children and my household,

Renae: absolutely, absolutely. Well, I have just a couple more things. One is, I know that you're providing a tool for our participants, for every party who registers gets access to the welcome care package, and so I'd love for you just to take a moment to let people know what that is.

Ali: Oh, absolutely. So I have a beautiful guide I prepared for all of you. I call it my heavenly breath guide, and it's just a really simple, easy PDF to walk you through that will walk you through one of those breaths that I shared, as well as gives you a little bit of journaling space, whether you want to print it out and write it down or just do it on your phone or the computer. I made it so you can type into it, or you could print it and write on it. There's some journal prompts for you there. There's a beautiful prayer and just a few ways to really get into centered prayer and meditate a bit while breathing to bring you to that center that we've talked about in this so whether you're starting your day, you're in the middle of your day, or you're ending your day, it's a great way to just come back to God and come back to center with your breath and lead you through a simple practice, whether you've used the breath before or you're new to it, I've made it really basic and simple to just de stress and allow yourself to receive that sacred pause with him Beautiful.

Renae: Well, that what a great gift, and that it's it is introducing maybe new practices or reminding you of practices that you might have had before, and that we, you know, everyone's going to have a different need, but we don't know what we need unless we take a moment to Stop and pause and assess that when we are noticing I am disconnecting from myself and from others. Okay, if I have, if I have spent time thinking about that, what is the first thing I can do? I'm gonna pause. What's the second thing I can do? I can take a breath. What's the third thing I can do? I can whatever the thing is. And that plan is going to be different from each of us, but we won't ever have the plan if we don't intentionally stop and take some time to develop it. And so thank you for this guide that helps people to develop what's going to be their plan for themselves. Yeah,

Ali: yeah. We all need something, right? And like you said, Every day is different for everyone, even for myself. Some days I need more of the breath. Other days I need more prayer, and I need to get in my prayer closet and just be with God and let him speak to me. Right? It just depends on where we are in that experience. But I love that you said that, Renae, because it's true. I will say the same thing to myself. I'm like, What do I need right now? Let me walk away. Take a breath. What do I need right now? And I do the same thing in my children. I tell them the same thing. I'm like, your melt. Melting down. We're having a hard time regulating. What do you need right now? And usually for them, it is that deep breath and then feeling safe, right? And I feel like that's where the breath and I feel like Holy Spirit really can work through you, whether you've done this or you haven't before. I would encourage you to follow my practice and try it the way I teach, because God's really guided me on helping people really allow the Holy Spirit to work through our breath in such a way of peace and calm. Because he is Jehovah Shalom. He is our peace, right? He is the prince of peace. And that's something he's taught me, really, to teach through the breath, and that's what my heavenly guide does, beautiful.

Renae: Well, the last question I have for you is thinking back to that times, both with your your first post pregnancy time, and also in 2020 there's probably a lot of similarities between those two type those two versions of Ali, and if you now could go back to that Ali and say a few very important things, I would love for you to share that with him. My hope is that this is something that is is an anchor or something that people who are participating in a summit can hear as something for them to be able to hold on to as well. So what? What do you think you would say to yourself?

Ali: Oh, wow. Okay, let's see. Well, first, I think I would just say like you are safe. You know, I think that's so important to understand that we really are safe and we really are held and protected. Because I definitely didn't feel that way when everything that was going on in that moment. So I would think I'd first just say, like, you are safe, you are held, you are so loved. And then honestly, I think I'll just say, like, surrender and let God work, surrender and let God flow. Because I was so wanting to be in control in every minute of my daughter's birth, and every minute I just remember you're saying, like, that tightness of like, holding on, like every single thing that was changed. I was like, oh, no, I can control it. No, I can control that. And I feel like I took away from so much of my own joy, even in the hard moments, because I was controlling so much, even to the point where, you know, I just want to paint a little picture. I was at 42 hours, and my husband, you know, comes back in the room. He sits with me and holds my hand, and he looks at me, and he goes, Don't you just want to meet her? And I burst into tears, and I said, Of course, I just want to meet her. And he goes, well, then are you done trying? Are you done trying? Because I was able to continue to try to have her because I wasn't in an emergency situation. And he goes, Are you done? Are you ready just to meet her? And I think about that, and I think, wow, had I just surrendered so much earlier. I just let go, right? So like, let go and let God, what does that look like for you? Or you can feel safe and you can just say, I let go and I let God. I'm going to surrender it and cast my burdens, my cares, to him, and I'm going to trust even if I don't see it, even if I don't understand it, that he is going to walk me through, that he is going to carry me through. That is what I really want people to hear and land and your heart, because I wish I had that, but it's okay. I know who wasn't walking with him then, and I know that that he used that as a vehicle to bring me back to him to be able to understand the steeper faith and surrender. So yeah.

Renae: So thank you so much for sharing that heartfelt piece of yourself, that vulnerability, your story. I just really appreciate what you've been able to share with us here for the summit, and the gift that you have for everybody, with the with your guide, and thank you just for being you too. I'm so glad that we got to have this time together. And I'm so excited for your participation in the TraumaWise summit and in the community.

Ali: Well, thank you so much for having me and letting me share my story. It was an honor to get to be here and connect with everyone I love what you're doing and your mission. And yeah, I would just say, you know, whether you're in the beginning of your healing journey, or you're in the mess of the middle God is there in all of it, and really trusting in that will bring you such deeper healing, more than you could even understand. And that's something I wish I learned earlier in the journey, but I know he's used it all to bring me to here, so I don't regret any of it, but I do like to share, to inspire and encourage others, that the more we can lean in and surrender, the more he can take and take care of us. Well.

Renae: Thank you so much. Ali, thank you. Thank you.